To most fans, Janet Jackson may look like a walking magazine centerfold drippin’ melanin all over the pages. She’s always been strikingly beautiful, incredibly talented, and adored by millions of fans all over the world. It would seem like Janet Jackson has it all, but as we previously reported, behind closed doors, the legendary singer has battled with low self esteem. Despite the fame, Janet is a normal person with real-life struggles.
Now, she’s opening up about how her low self-esteem and depression caused her to blame herself for many things- including her failed relationships.
Her Intense Struggle:
For Janet, things have gotten a bit better over the years but, during her 30s, she silently struggled with a number of issues. In an intimate open letter to her fans, Janet recounted the struggles she faced during her 30s and 40s. The letter definitely offers a side of Janet many fans probably had no clue existed. Of course, adoring fans see Janet as the picture perfect woman, but ironically she didn’t exactly feel that way. In fact, she’s admitted to battling low self-esteem and idealized inferiority. The famed singer/performer believes some of the issues she’s battled with may stem from her childhood and upbringing.
“These were difficult years when I struggled with depression. The struggle was intense. I could analyze the source of my depression forever. Low self-esteem might be rooted in childhood feelings of inferiority. It could relate to failing to meet impossibly high standards. And of course, there are always the societal issues of racism and sexism. Put it all together and depression is a tenacious and scary condition. Thankfully, I found my way through it…”
Failed Relationships
By now we’ve all heard many different famous quotes about time. “Time brings on a change” and “Time heals all wounds” are probably the two most popular. But for Janet, even time didn’t change much for a very long time. Ten years later, in her forties, things actually grew worse. Janet admitted that she blamed herself for her failed relationships and found herself easily slipping into depression.
“In my forties: Like millions of women in the world, I still heard voices inside my head berating me, voices questioning my value. Happiness was elusive. A reunion with old friends might make me happy. A call from a colleague might make me happy. But because sometimes I saw my failed relationships as my fault, I easily fell into despair.”
Happiness and Growth:
Now that Janet is in her fifties, things are a bit different now. Over the years, things have changed for the better and Janet believes the birth of her 2-year-old son Eissa marked a positive turn in her life. Despite her impending divorce, Janet has finally found a sense of peace and happiness. At this point in her life, “happiness is everywhere.” She wrote, “The height of happiness is holding my baby son in my arms and hearing him coo, or when I look into his smiling eyes and watch him respond to my tenderness,” Jackson shares. “When I kiss him. When I sing him softly to sleep. During those sacred times, happiness is everywhere. Happiness is in gratitude to God. Happiness is saying, ‘Thank you, God, for my life, my energy and my capacity to grow in love.’ ”
The next issue of Essence magazine featuring Janet Jackson’s open letter hits newsstands on Friday, June 22.
