Debbi Morgan has written a memoir, “The Monkey On My Back”, which was released in 2015, but it wasn’t until her epic performance in Toni Braxton’s Lifetime Biopic a few years ago that led us to dig a little deeper into the fantastic actress that we love with the “deep dimples”!
We’ve written about Mrs. Morgan her here a few times on ILOSM, but she was the “scene stealer” in last night’s biopic, “Unbreak My Heart”, where she played a fierce Momma Evelyn!
With so many celebrities writings books and memoirs, we’d lost touch with Debbi Morgan’s story, but as we researched further, we read all about the cycle of domestic abuse that plagued her family for generations.
Morgan says her grandmother, mother, and aunts all married men who abused them; additionally, she says all of her uncles “turned out to be abusive husbands, except for one.”
“Our parents are our first role models. We emulate what we see. So when I kept attracting these same kind of men into my life, I’m not consciously thinking that that’s what I’m doing,” says Morgan, detailing her own struggle with domestic violence.
Morgan says she kept being attracted to violent men, saying she saw them as protectors. “Ultimately, I would find out that they were the person that I needed to be protected from.”
Debbi Morgan also revealed the point where she believed death would be better than what was currently happening and her abusive marriages.
In an interview with NewOne, Debbi Morgan spoke about dealing the the physical and emotional abuse that she experienced.
“I was a victim of bullying. I went through physical and emotional abuse at the hands of a teenage boyfriend. I suffered severe emotional abuse by three of my four husbands. I was just caught in this cycle. I mean, spinning like a washing machine.”
In her book, Morgan spoke of an abusive episode between her mother and father where death seemed to be the best outcome.
“Lying there frightened beyond reason, I shuddered at the thought of my beautiful mother lying
helpless on the other side of my bedroom door. Wet, warm tears ran down my face, and wet, warm
urine down my legs. Shaking uncontrollably I tried to brace myself for what might happen next. Since my father had finished with my mother he’d surely come for me. The thought was almost welcomed.After all, death certainly had to be better than this…” [Source]
Morgan herself has dealt with domestic abuse in her marriages. She didn’t go into detail, but with her 3 previous marriages to Charles Weldon (1980-84); to actor Charles S. Dutton (1989-94); and to photographer Donn Thompson (1997-2000), she said she needed to break the cycle of abuse.
Before Debbi and Charles divorced in 1994, Debbi, a woman who grew up in a family plagued by domestic violence, says Charles’ quiet danger became like a drug to her.
“One of the things with children growing up in domestic violence homes, they are sort of drawn to people that have a lot of brute strength because they feel that they’re going to protect them,” she says. “I learned that he had spent all of his time in prison … and it might sound crazy, but there was something that was sort of seductive to me about that.”
While Debbi says Charles S. Dutton was never physically abusive towards her, the end of their relationship brought her to her knees:
“That was the relationship that started the big turnaround for me, because that relationship brought me to my knees,” Debbi told Oprah Winfrey regarding her marriage to Dutton. “As the saying goes, when you hit rock bottom there’s nowhere to go but up, and that was my rock bottom,” she proclaimed.
The Emmy winner has finally found true love with businessman Jeffrey Winston. They wed in 2009, bringing an end to her family’s cycle of abuse that lasted three generations.
Debbi Morgan’s memoir, “The Monkey on My Back,” is available online here.