Natalie’s mother married a dark skinned man, Nat King Cole. You may have heard of him – the silky smooth voice of “Unforgettable,” “Nature Boy,” “Smile,” “Too Young,” “The Christmas Song” (Chestnut Roasting On An Open Fire), “Mona Lisa” and “Ramblin’ Rose” – and, in 1956, became the first Black ever to host his own network TV show, NBC’s The Nat King Cole Show. Yeah, that guy. So why would Maria Cole’s family have such a dislike for dark skin Black people?
Natalie also claimed her mother’s family felt that her father, was too Black for them.
[pull_quote_center]“For a dark-skinned man such as my father to acquire a light-skinned woman such as my mother was a real important prize.”Your status moved up. That doesn’t mean that her family was all that happy about her marrying my father. He was too Black for them.”[/pull_quote_center]
Her Grandmother was very socially conscious, and according to Natalie:
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“She [Natalie’s Grandmother] didn’t want my mother to get involved with anyone with too many Black characteristics, because then your children would look funny. It wasn’t just my mother, it’s the way many Black people were raised.”
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Well there you have it folks. Reading this makes me wonder if Natalie Cole grew up with skin complexion issues, being that she was a brown girl being raised with a few family members who viewed her complexion as something to not be fully proud of, although I don’t doubt for one second that they loved her.
This subject has been deeply rooted in our community all the way back to slavery when the darker slaves worked outside in the fields and the lighter slaves oftentimes worked in the house. We all know the story- the lighter skinned slaves were closer to the owner’s complexion, and therefore tolerable enough to be within close proximity to his family. Unfortunately, in a lot of African American circles, we also know that this psychological stigma still exists and many Black people throughout the centuries have had feelings of never being good enough and/or accepted. Clearly, Natalie Cole’s family was also affected by this.
Spike Lee’s School Daze tackled the modern day version of this topic well. Growing up, many of us probably recall hearing certain kids get ridiculed with jokes calling them “darkie,” “blackie” and others. Just as some of us also heard people tease light skinned kids and call them names like “high yellow” and such. I remember my friend’s Grandmother would say that it was okay for the boyfriends, husbands, or the men in the family to be dark, but not the women…..that’s a subject for another day though. But this is the kind of thing Natalie Cole dealt with in her own family.
Back to the Spike Lee joint which was based on Spike’s experiences at Morehouse College, you had the jigaboos and wannabees. I know for a fact that across the street at the sister school – Spelman College, there was once a time when young high school senior girls applied, they had to send in photos to pass the ‘brown paper bag’ test unless their mother was an alum, or they were from a powerful family.
So it definitely doesn’t make it right, but at least this helps us to understand a little bit more about how much Mrs. Maria Cole and her family were inflicted by these universal light skin/ dark skin misconceptions, being that it was such a huge ‘thing’ in our community, and to a large degree, it’s still a ‘thing’ today. For example, have you seen any of today’s music videos lately? Finding a brown or dark skin woman in one of them is like trying to find a needle in a haystack, but that too, is a story for another day.
Sadly, Mrs. Cole passed away just a few years ago and this is what Natalie Cole and her siblings, Timolin and Casey Cole (twins) had to say about their Mother, Maria Cole:
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“Our mom was in a class all by herself. She epitomized class, elegance, and truly defined what it is to be a real lady.”
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Maria and Nat King Cole were married from 1948 until his death from lung cancer in 1965, shortly after he finished filming the comedy Western Cat Ballou, with Lee Marvin and Jane Fonda. May Mr. and Mrs. Cole continue to rest well.
I can relate! My fair skin Grandmother also had a complexion issue, although her husband was a dark skin man. However, I grew up wanting to be a darker complexion. NOW, I love the skin am in!
I am so sick of this issue.Wish we would realize we are all just people.
I can relate! My fair skin Grandmother also had a complexion issue, although her husband was a dark skin man. However, I grew up wanting to be a darker complexion. NOW, I love the skin am in!
I am so sick of this issue.Wish we would realize we are all just people.
I once heard Mrs. Cole in an interview where she vaguely eluded to the “skin” issue…..interest ly enough she never stopped using the name Mrs. Nat ‘King’ Cole even though she re-married after Nat’ death.
I once heard Mrs. Cole in an interview where she vaguely eluded to the “skin” issue…..interest ly enough she never stopped using the name Mrs. Nat ‘King’ Cole even though she re-married after Nat’ death.
Her mother was sick in the head. No, I don’t give intraracism a pass. It’s ignorant and classist. A dark-skinned man’s money wasn’t beneath her. Let Natalie Cole reconcile those issues and feelings about her mother–she was there and experienced it. I have no sympathy for black people who perpetuate racism against their own kind.
Although she had the right to her own opinion……..thank goodness this was only her opinion and not that of society as a whole today!
Her mother was sick in the head. No, I don’t give intraracism a pass. It’s ignorant and classist. A dark-skinned man’s money wasn’t beneath her. Let Natalie Cole reconcile those issues and feelings about her mother–she was there and experienced it. I have no sympathy for black people who perpetuate racism against their own kind.
Although she had the right to her own opinion……..thank goodness this was only her opinion and not that of society as a whole today!
No disrespect to the Cole’s but I don’t think there is any reason this day in age to have these issues. It’s pure insecurity on the part of the person who has the complex. It’s good to hear Ms. Cole talk about this because like mainstream racism, intraracism is often overlooked and denied by many.
No disrespect to the Cole’s but I don’t think there is any reason this day in age to have these issues. It’s pure insecurity on the part of the person who has the complex. It’s good to hear Ms. Cole talk about this because like mainstream racism, intraracism is often overlooked and denied by many.
I once talked to an elder who had info past down thru generations in his family (some who were slaves) and found that a lot of the lightskined people that worked in the “Big House” were offspring of the “Masters” (guess there were masters with a LITTLE heart…lol) this got many of them a so called easier job. And like monkey see monkey do, many other white people followed suite and began using lighter skinned in their homes even if they weren’t their offspring. How true this all is I can’t prove but it does sound reasonable.
I once talked to an elder who had info past down thru generations in his family (some who were slaves) and found that a lot of the lightskined people that worked in the “Big House” were offspring of the “Masters” (guess there were masters with a LITTLE heart…lol) this got many of them a so called easier job. And like monkey see monkey do, many other white people followed suite and began using lighter skinned in their homes even if they weren’t their offspring. How true this all is I can’t prove but it does sound reasonable.
The article treaded too lightly…I learned nothing about Natalie Cole’s mother and her skin complexion issues….disappointing
The article treaded too lightly…I learned nothing about Natalie Cole’s mother and her skin complexion issues….disappointing
I grew up as a lighter skin person (now 67) and was told the same thing about light skin slaves working in the big house? I always said that just because they worked in the house doesn’t mean it was easier. They had to be subjected to rape by the master, treated extremely horrible by the wife, had to care for their children and not time for their own. So sad. So sad. This is also one of the things that the slave master used to divide our people. Has anyone ever read the willie lynch document listing how to keep slaves in their place for years and years, which is still going on today.
I grew up as a lighter skin person (now 67) and was told the same thing about light skin slaves working in the big house? I always said that just because they worked in the house doesn’t mean it was easier. They had to be subjected to rape by the master, treated extremely horrible by the wife, had to care for their children and not time for their own. So sad. So sad. This is also one of the things that the slave master used to divide our people. Has anyone ever read the willie lynch document listing how to keep slaves in their place for years and years, which is still going on today.
Why do people think this issue would go away? Has racism itself gone away? Do we not see preference of lighter skin entertainers over the browner skin ones? This is the reality of our world. I come from the same ignorance but thank God my mom had a good head on her shoulder. S long as we see black women wearing long blonde weaves and lightning their skin we know the self esteem is lacking and whites dominating black music we know it’s a problem. People will always be concerned or obsessed with skin color as long as dark and light, black and white exists …
Why do people think this issue would go away? Has racism itself gone away? Do we not see preference of lighter skin entertainers over the browner skin ones? This is the reality of our world. I come from the same ignorance but thank God my mom had a good head on her shoulder. S long as we see black women wearing long blonde weaves and lightning their skin we know the self esteem is lacking and whites dominating black music we know it’s a problem. People will always be concerned or obsessed with skin color as long as dark and light, black and white exists …
My mom didn’t like red hair. I was a white kid with red hair. I guess that automatically made me less and I look like a “down syndrome girl” according to Mom. My daughter has the most beautiful copper red hair and is gorgeous. My Mom has never acknowledged how beautiful she is inside and out… Her loss…
My mom didn’t like red hair. I was a white kid with red hair. I guess that automatically made me less and I look like a “down syndrome girl” according to Mom. My daughter has the most beautiful copper red hair and is gorgeous. My Mom has never acknowledged how beautiful she is inside and out… Her loss…
Colorism is still very much an issue in the black community.Thank goodness I was raised with a strong sense of self, because I was teased and bullied unmercifully about my complexion and hair texture. I was taught that black is a state of mind, and not necessarily skin color.I prefer black women, and have dated from very light to very dark complected women. I’ve been told, I don’t date light skinned men by light skinned women.I hear terms like blackie,redbone,burple,and high yellow all the time. We as a people must get past this curse from our former slave masters.
Its not just in African Americans its in Mexican American families as well. Well at least mine.
Colorism is still very much an issue in the black community.Thank goodness I was raised with a strong sense of self, because I was teased and bullied unmercifully about my complexion and hair texture. I was taught that black is a state of mind, and not necessarily skin color.I prefer black women, and have dated from very light to very dark complected women. I’ve been told, I don’t date light skinned men by light skinned women.I hear terms like blackie,redbone,burple,and high yellow all the time. We as a people must get past this curse from our former slave masters.
Its not just in African Americans its in Mexican American families as well. Well at least mine.
come on now instead of being proud of the dark skin person most every one of you will not date or want to produce with a darker skin man, what the hell do you think you will be special if you get a lighter shade of brown. if you were proud from the get go you wouldn’t want to mix it with a white to get a lighter shade child.
come on now instead of being proud of the dark skin person most every one of you will not date or want to produce with a darker skin man, what the hell do you think you will be special if you get a lighter shade of brown. if you were proud from the get go you wouldn’t want to mix it with a white to get a lighter shade child.
My Grandmother came from the South. She would make me so mad sometimes, because she would say don’t have a baby by a dark skinned man. I am light skinned. Her explanation was dark skinned people are more discriminated against. I did not understand then but now I do. that is the kind of racism she experienced when she was a child in the south.
My Grandmother came from the South. She would make me so mad sometimes, because she would say don’t have a baby by a dark skinned man. I am light skinned. Her explanation was dark skinned people are more discriminated against. I did not understand then but now I do. that is the kind of racism she experienced when she was a child in the south.
I live w/ my 96 yr old Grandmother up south in Michigan. I have never heard a white person spit as much vitriol about black people as she does! Heard it from her all my life (58 yrs). Her vanity as a brown/fair/light-skinned, attractive woman led her to look down her nose at many in our race. Like Mrs. Cole, she married men who were darker than her (tho none as dark as Nat King Cole). It’s always a hot button issue if other folks are here & somebody comes on TV that she feels is too black, too nappy, too big nosed, too ignorant. But truth be told, we all do it! The difference is the obvious contempt of some people vs the pointing out of fact of others.
I live w/ my 96 yr old Grandmother up south in Michigan. I have never heard a white person spit as much vitriol about black people as she does! Heard it from her all my life (58 yrs). Her vanity as a brown/fair/light-skinned, attractive woman led her to look down her nose at many in our race. Like Mrs. Cole, she married men who were darker than her (tho none as dark as Nat King Cole). It’s always a hot button issue if other folks are here & somebody comes on TV that she feels is too black, too nappy, too big nosed, too ignorant. But truth be told, we all do it! The difference is the obvious contempt of some people vs the pointing out of fact of others.
I believe we, as in ALL PEOPLE, have prejudices towards certain things…people…etc. Think about it. We like what we like! Simple….the problem is letting that prejudice take root and cause you to DO evil and mean-spirited things TOWARDS your fellow man….We like WHAT we LIKE! but don’t offend your brother from another mother!
I believe we, as in ALL PEOPLE, have prejudices towards certain things…people…etc. Think about it. We like what we like! Simple….the problem is letting that prejudice take root and cause you to DO evil and mean-spirited things TOWARDS your fellow man….We like WHAT we LIKE! but don’t offend your brother from another mother!
The way the writer keeps excusing this woman’s behavior “because it’s so prevalent in Black society” is what makes this article so disturbing. Also, his darker first wife worked like a dog to support them both, only to be left behind when he began his fame.. he married this woman six days after his divorce. Finally, to noone’s surprise, her light skin wasn’t enough of an upgrade. He cheated on her often left her for a Swede, who he stayed with until he became terminally ill with cancer and went back home-but he was still calling her right up until he died. Pitiful.
The way the writer keeps excusing this woman’s behavior “because it’s so prevalent in Black society” is what makes this article so disturbing. Also, his darker first wife worked like a dog to support them both, only to be left behind when he began his fame.. he married this woman six days after his divorce. Finally, to noone’s surprise, her light skin wasn’t enough of an upgrade. He cheated on her often left her for a Swede, who he stayed with until he became terminally ill with cancer and went back home-but he was still calling her right up until he died. Pitiful.
This practice still exists all over the world,but the people aren’t as open about it (publicly) as they used to be. With more love,wisdom,and knowledge being revealed,the world will change to a better understanding. God bless!
This practice still exists all over the world,but the people aren’t as open about it (publicly) as they used to be. With more love,wisdom,and knowledge being revealed,the world will change to a better understanding. God bless!
I meant to say slave train minds and just because it was abolished..it didn’t change the mind of some black people….change doesn’t come over night….I use to get in fights at school becauce I am light skinned….my grandson gets picked on because of his complexion….Will it end?….no…that’s life…and to each his own..
That was the mindset Some blacks back then…my grand mother was like that. Understand they had slave refined mind
I meant to say slave train minds and just because it was abolished..it didn’t change the mind of some black people….change doesn’t come over night….I use to get in fights at school becauce I am light skinned….my grandson gets picked on because of his complexion….Will it end?….no…that’s life…and to each his own..
That was the mindset Some blacks back then…my grand mother was like that. Understand they had slave refined mind
And didn’t he cheat on her with a white woman? Now that’s ironic.
And didn’t he cheat on her with a white woman? Now that’s ironic.
All I would say to the topic is ignorance is a sad thing
All I would say to the topic is ignorance is a sad thing
How is it, she had a complex with Darker skin Black folks ….
But married & had children with one of the darkest man ? These leads me to believe she married for the benifits and not real love and he had Acquired his like skin prize …….
Which I’m sure, with a mind-set as this she probably was very uppity classy and lady like , but knowing your mother was not fancy for the darker skin had to have had a horrific impact on the mindset of her children. ……..
Leading to Questions like “mommy do you love me” my skin is dark ???????
This was a family secret best left in the closet , because knowing that she was appaled by dark skin blacks leads me to Question why she married him ?
How is it, she had a complex with Darker skin Black folks ….
But married & had children with one of the darkest man ? These leads me to believe she married for the benifits and not real love and he had Acquired his like skin prize …….
Which I’m sure, with a mind-set as this she probably was very uppity classy and lady like , but knowing your mother was not fancy for the darker skin had to have had a horrific impact on the mindset of her children. ……..
Leading to Questions like “mommy do you love me” my skin is dark ???????
This was a family secret best left in the closet , because knowing that she was appaled by dark skin blacks leads me to Question why she married him ?
if anything, I always wished I was darker like Grace jones.
if anything, I always wished I was darker like Grace jones.
Wow….. had no idea her mom felt that way and it does seem odd that if you feel that way, you would marry a dark skinned man.
Wow….. had no idea her mom felt that way and it does seem odd that if you feel that way, you would marry a dark skinned man.
He (Net Cole) left his wife for a white women (an actress who played on the sitcom Petticoat Junction) who later scent him back home to his wife when he became ill!
He (Net Cole) left his wife for a white women (an actress who played on the sitcom Petticoat Junction) who later scent him back home to his wife when he became ill!
Really she gets a pass on this, ok then based on the color of your skin many blacks are discriminated against, Man the stuff we will do or say to excuse some of the deepest issues in society, I can’t believe this writer would even fix his or her mouth to say such a thing.
Really she gets a pass on this, ok then based on the color of your skin many blacks are discriminated against, Man the stuff we will do or say to excuse some of the deepest issues in society, I can’t believe this writer would even fix his or her mouth to say such a thing.
No we are going to judge her mothers ignorance and stupidity. There was a platform and her mother chose to discriminate. That woman was a part of the problem.
No we are going to judge her mothers ignorance and stupidity. There was a platform and her mother chose to discriminate. That woman was a part of the problem.
It’s so sad that we black people had to and unfortunately still have to go through that, I know what it feels like to b called names because of my dark complexion. But the thing that hurted me the most was that the majority of pain came mainly from my own people and a lot of the time they were darker than me.
It’s so sad that we black people had to and unfortunately still have to go through that, I know what it feels like to b called names because of my dark complexion. But the thing that hurted me the most was that the majority of pain came mainly from my own people and a lot of the time they were darker than me.
wow great article!
Thanks Nuggles…appreciate it.
wow great article!
Thanks Nuggles…appreciate it.
Natalie Cole: “… I knew nothing of Gunilla Hutton, the woman Dad had been having an affair with, but my mother certainly did, and it must have made dealing with the aftermath of his death even more difficult for her.”
Source: Natalie Cole, Digby Diehl. Angel on My Shoulder. 2000. pg. 57-58.
Natalie Cole: “… I knew nothing of Gunilla Hutton, the woman Dad had been having an affair with, but my mother certainly did, and it must have made dealing with the aftermath of his death even more difficult for her.”
Source: Natalie Cole, Digby Diehl. Angel on My Shoulder. 2000. pg. 57-58.
This shyt kills me, her mother had a problem with dark skin people but married a dark skin man which obviously would possibly mean you would have a darker complexion child, so go figure
This is why I think it was more of a Class thing as opposed to complexion. Most of the help hired usually had dark complexion. They were in an all white neighborhood.
Her family did have a problem with dark complexion though, Maria admitted to that
This shyt kills me, her mother had a problem with dark skin people but married a dark skin man which obviously would possibly mean you would have a darker complexion child, so go figure
This is why I think it was more of a Class thing as opposed to complexion. Most of the help hired usually had dark complexion. They were in an all white neighborhood.
Her family did have a problem with dark complexion though, Maria admitted to that
Since Natalie Cole herself is dark-skinned, and her father was as well, I have to wonder about her mother’s mind-set. It looks like she was a bundle of contradictions on the issue of color, given that she also generally seems to have hated dark complexions. I can just imagine the kinds of hang-ups children born into families with parents who have issues with the complexions the kids turn out to be would have. It’s also definitely true that the Coles were only one example of how destructive colorism. Since Nat King Cole died in 1965, and this is 2015, it goes to show how long-lasting and far-reaching colorism is, along with the white supremacy it stems from.
Since Natalie Cole herself is dark-skinned, and her father was as well, I have to wonder about her mother’s mind-set. It looks like she was a bundle of contradictions on the issue of color, given that she also generally seems to have hated dark complexions. I can just imagine the kinds of hang-ups children born into families with parents who have issues with the complexions the kids turn out to be would have. It’s also definitely true that the Coles were only one example of how destructive colorism. Since Nat King Cole died in 1965, and this is 2015, it goes to show how long-lasting and far-reaching colorism is, along with the white supremacy it stems from.