I have been going through a rough time lately…My life in many ways seems to be on stand-by…I thought I was doing several projects this summer which all fell through. ALL of them. The crazy thing is, none of the people who’d offered me writing, music gigs or acting jobs ever called me back after making the verbal offers.

One minute I think I’m working, the next I’m hearing about how great the shoot is going without me. LA has its issues and New York is challenging but I’ve not met with this kind of lackadaisical professionalism (or the lack thereof) before. Therefore, money is as tight as a drum. It always cracks me up when people assume I am wealthy. I’m laughing now as a matter of fact. I have always had to be extremely wise in financial decisions. In other words, I ain’t got much, ya dig? I have been blessed with work, but rich? EeehEh. I scrimp and scrape just like the rest of the 99%. Maybe more like the unemployed working class as they like to call us.

So how does she handle it?

I could pout about it and lay in a limitless fetal position thinking about how unfair God or the universe is. I could pity my situation and myself. I do cry and scream a bit. I have to or I would explode…But I can’t sob forever. What a waste of energy it becomes. I will usually vent to my mother (poor woman) and one friend, then drop it. They say if you focus on lack you maintain lack.

My sweet daughter gets the majority of my emotional fallout. I’d love to lie and say I am such a great mother that I keep it all from her. Not so. I am an…

emotional person. When disappointments happen she is there. I can’t hide the pain…She’s the one who sees me in every state; happy, sad and all the places in between. She is the closest person to me, making me strong. I can’t afford to let my daughter see a weak wreak of a woman. I don’t want to teach her depression and hopelessness. I want to show her a woman who feels deeply, but picks herself up and pushes through the muck to the treasure. That is the kind of woman I want her to be so it forces me to be the example. Without her I may not have made it.

On how she survives and picks herself up:

I chant and affirm in front of Sophia. She is in the room when I meditate and pray. I read her my sacred texts. I force her to go on walks with me and dream out loud. We find reasons to laugh. Science and history docs help us recognize how small our problems are in the grand scheme of things. I recount the many valleys I’ve had to climb out of. That way I remind myself that this is just yet another mountain…I am the constant student. I realize this is difficult when you’re in the middle of the storm. Lightning is striking you in the ass, and the rain is pouring so hard that you can’t see which way from which.

I tell my spirit, “Can’t we move on to something else, dammit?!” I am tired of the same struggles and bad patterns.” I MUST be ready to move on to the next chapter in this freaking book…Aren’t I? If not what’s it going to take!? I’m ready to listen.

So…For all you folks out there barely squeaking by, grinding through it all, fighting the good fight, I say we can make it if we decide to…If we “just do it”. I’m still standing, are you? If not, GET UP! I’ll pray for you and you pray for me.

Normally we have a conclusion to draw from these types of stories, but I think Cynda Williams has said it all – full circle. There’s nothing more inspiring than seeing a celeb’ open themselves up and share their inspirations with the world, even while they are still going through their own struggles. It doesn’t sound like Ms. Williams will be suffering from the “Harlem Blues” and that’s a beautiful thing.

Cynda’s still working and has some projects coming up…you can follow her at:
facebook.com/cyndawilliamsofficialfanpage, twitter.com/cyndacindy, and her website: pinkpantieconfessions.com

-ILoveOldSchoolMusic, Old School news with a new point of view