What or who do you dream about?
I used to have a recurring dream: I would be sitting at a table, floating in outer space with about 20 women from other planets. We would fight evil with our minds. I recall asking the woman in charge, ‘Why can’t I stay here?’ She said, ‘It’s not time, yet.’ I told someone about that dream years ago and haven’t had it since.
What has been your biggest achievement?
“Just staying alive – I have battled addiction my entire life. Life has not been easy and I am very lucky to have made it this far. Music is a very lonely calling. You travel anonymously, you check in to an anonymous hotel and you stay there until it’s time to turn yourself on and bare your soul on stage. Then you come back to the anonymous hotel and leave in the morning.”
And your biggest disappointment?
“That I wasn’t able to provide for my children the security they may have needed. I could be wrong but I think they’re still a little angry because I wasn’t around when they were young, like I would have been if I hadn’t chosen this life. I think women shouldn’t have kids until they’re 40 because I don’t think we’re ready until then.”
What is your biggest fear?
“Being in a relationship, because it renders one so helpless. You’re so vulnerable. I don’t know if I’m ready for that to happen again. Being in a couple is a lot of work. No man in his right mind would want to be married to someone like me. I can understand that. I’ve tried it a couple of times, and I get it. I can’t even have a pet.”
Tell us a secret about yourself
“I’ve been known to suck my thumb. Freud would have a ball with that one!”
Who would your dream dinner date be?
“The actor Idris Elba. I think he’s adorable.”
Describe the best night of your life
“Getting sober last June. I had already been sober for nine years. But I got addicted to painkillers I had been taking after knee surgery. It never dawned on me that every day people walk around with a little bit of pain and that I could just learn to live with it, instead of continuing to take the painkillers.”
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